‘What a difference a week makes’.
Yet another phrase we can find ourselves using (with whichever timeframe is right), but in my case it really is a different story this week compared to last.
I can’t tell you exactly what materially changed, but, you’ve guessed it, my thinking definitely shifted. That’s the thing with coaching, it’s not a ‘once and done’ thing and your life is roses forever after. That’s not realistic! But it can help you have the tools to pick yourself up that bit quicker when the s*&t hits the fan. Or as a highly intelligent person known for experiencing imposter syndrome put it so much better than me:
‘No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it’ – Albert Einstein
I think that probably counts as a mic-drop quote, right?!
Why your thinking can be a nuisance (sometimes)!
In our moments when we are really feeling all the negativity of what is going on around us and inside us, and it impacts our mood, our emotions and our behaviours, we can question why we do what we do. The temptation to shout ‘screw it’ and speedily type your resignation letter or the urge to throw in the towel in dramatic fashion can be overwhelming. In a place of heightened emotions, our best rational logic unfortunately tends to desert us (well, it is there, it just doesn’t get a look-in whilst our emotions run riot). Our thinking can be a nuisance like that!
The thing is, this probably makes a lot of sense – sending a rant-filled email with your resignation fuelled by anger, rage and despair after a bad day, might look a tad unreasonable in the morning once you’ve calmed down (and the logical part of our brains has been allowed to make an appearance again!). But here is the kicker – it’s the less obvious ‘problems’ that can be so hard to resolve – because we haven’t addressed the beliefs we are holding that surround that problem, that still exist as we try to address the problem, and are very likely to get in the way of trying to find the appropriate solution.
We become used to seeing things a certain way and thinking in a particular way, about ourselves, our situation and others. Our neural pathways become well-trodden and the brain is a creature of habit, choosing to preserve energy for its most important tasks.
Thus we can trigger a self-fulfilling cycle of perceptions, thinking and behaviours – ‘all I see is all there is’. Except it isn’t!
Put it this way – if you’re attempting to get a certain outcome (‘solve your problem’), have you noticed that if you continue to do the same actions that you’ve always done, you get the same result (that maybe you didn’t want?!). The same can apply to our thinking too – it’s just less obvious to pick up on than our actions.
This is where there is some magic in coaching, in my humble opinion. It’s not about ‘well do this action, and your problem is solved, next!’. In my role as a coach, we will delve into what you are thinking and feeling – because this isn’t the fluffy stuff before the actual actions get you what you want – it’s the crucial stuff to allow you to take the best action – action that you’ve identified that maybe you didn’t see before, or didn’t consider as viable before, that you’ve chosen and are willing to try.
I will help you see the wood for the trees when all you can see is a forest.
If you're curious, please get in touch kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com
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