I get why people may be sceptical, or even cynical about life coaching. It can sound broad brush and vague. (Caveat – that is hopefully until they try it!).
Just what are you signing up for? And what do you get (or become) on the other side of it? I thought I’d try to dispel some myths and answer those questions in this blog, according to my kind of life coaching in any event!
How does life coaching help me?
In my opinion, life coaching is really something to experience rather than to explain, but I’ll do my best! It is a process, but that’s not the important bit – the mechanics, how many sessions, how often, the medium – that’s all the logistics, the magic doesn’t happen there!
The magic happens in the space created, the new thinking experienced, the connections made during the coaching, and translating that into actions you implement outside of the coaching. I recognise that 'creating space’ does not sound very sexy or enticing! Surely you can do that by going for a walk by yourself, or taking time out? And whilst that is true, many of us don’t grant ourselves that space frequently due to the busy-ness of our lives, but more importantly, the thinking we are experiencing is still the same, meaning we may still feel stuck, lost or trapped regardless.
I know what it is like to keep muddling along, imagining somehow that the ‘right time’ would appear for a shift to magically occur and for something I wanted to happen to materialise of its own accord. I know from experience that waiting and hoping also don’t tend to give rise to much change either. The truth is, your life needs proactivity from you, not passivity, and that’s whether you choose to engage a life coach to help you or not. Things rarely just change for the better over time purely on their own.
So what are the key outcomes from life coaching?
I think it is important to make clear that coaching isn't about making a 'better version of you' somehow. You are still you on the other side of coaching - but with the benefit of these things during the journey:
- Clarity. Specifically about understanding yourself better, what really matters to you, and what you want (and don’t want!) in your life – whether that’s feelings, thoughts or practical things. Sometimes this can feel crystal clear, and other times we can need a bit of help to get that clarity and focus back.
- Identifying what’s in your way. And this can be a big one! Sometimes we can’t see ‘the wood for the trees’ when we are immersed in only our own perspective. We get used to seeing the world in a certain way, like through our own lens. This can create mental blocks or feelings of being stuck (all I see is all there is). A coach can help you identify new thinking, perspectives and possible solutions.
- Time out! How often do you really get to stop for a moment, and just think about you and your needs? Daily life can be a treadmill of ‘to do’ and looking towards ‘what’s next?’. Coaching is a moment to press pause and enjoy the present, even just for a while, and be purely focused on you with someone to help probe your thoughts more widely and deeply than you may do on your own.
- Focus on goals that matter to you. Just like the new year’s resolutions that get cast aside in February, it can be tough to maintain motivation, action and dedication to both long- and short-term goals. A coach can help you better understand your immediate needs and future wants, your commitment to these, and help you plan the steps to get you there. We can’t create more time, but we have choices to make with the time we do have.
- Understanding yourself. Chances are this isn’t what you had in mind as a benefit for starting coaching! It can sound a bit ‘woo’ and meaningless. But actually it is important as a starting point for most things – after all, we’ve determined that only you can live your life, and how you think, feel and behave directly impacts how that life will pan out. When you understand what triggers you, drives you, causes you discomfort, what assumptions you might be making about yourself, others and your situation, you can better choose how to respond (as opposed to react).
- Accountability. How often do we let ourselves off the hook for something we only admitted to ourselves that we would do?! A life coach’s role isn’t to berate you for not meeting your goal, but to help you determine why it isn’t on track and what can be done to resolve that, if it is something that genuinely matters to you.
What about specific coaching outcomes for me?
The list above may all still sound very broad, but in discussion during coaching sessions, each of these points will become very personal to you, your situation, your thinking and your circumstances. With life coaching, you can bring what you need or want (and unexpected things may also arise) to the conversation - relationships, work, parenting, where you live for example, all of these have been discussed in my coaching partnerships.
If you are feeling unclear on what direction to be heading in, or that you are holding yourself back in some way, or you are just feeling lost, stuck or overwhelmed with what is going on in your life, then coaching could absolutely be worth exploring.
Those I have supported with coaching have:
- Decided to change careers
- Moved overseas
- Attained promotions and new roles
- Believed in themselves to try something new
- Prioritised their wellbeing and interests too
So how do we get to those coaching outcomes?
It is a true partnership, of equals. In life, we are nearly always looking for answers, to either simple or more complex choices or decisions. We get so preoccupied with finding those ‘right’ answers, that we forget the importance of finding the right question(s)! A life coach like me will ask you curious questions so that you can explore broader thinking and expanded options, which in turn impacts our choices, and actions. No more staying still or going around in circles!
I hope you get a sense of what is possible on the other side of life coaching. Finding the right coach for you is a key part of this equation if you are keen to try it. Their style, manner and approach should be a good match for you to feel comfortable getting a bit uncomfortable during the process – radical honesty is needed to really make headway and it’s not always easy to see things clearly that are so close to us, particularly the patterns of our own thinking.
I might be the right kind of coach for you (and I might not, and that’s ok!).
I’m very real, practical, flawed and kind-natured – and I genuinely want good things for you! I tune into what you are saying (and not saying!), with empathy, kindness and compassion; our coaching space is a safe space for emotional release, followed by ‘where do we go from here?’.
You can listen to my podcast Mission Imperfect with my co-host Kirsty to get more of a sense of me as a coach, as well as hear our views on many common coaching topics from confidence to decision-making and many more. If you want to explore more about coaching with me, please do book in for a chat, I’d love to hear from you!
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