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Time... why we want more but that isn't the answer!

Updated: Jul 18, 2023

Something a little different this time – a sort of topic / my thoughts / book review hybrid!


It’s partly because the topic in hand is such a vast one, and it’s one we all seem to want more of – time. But the real question should be, what do we want more time for?


A sand timer and a clock running away, with the words 'time... why it feels like there isn't enough'

Why we think we want more time


Two particularly good books I’ve read both refer to time: ‘Time to Think’ by Nancy Kline and, in a slightly different way, ‘4000 weeks’ by Oliver Burkeman.


In the first, the author focuses on that moment of space before we react, respond and reply and how important this time to think is (you won’t be surprised that as a coach I firmly agree with this, and it’s why coaches are often referred to as ‘thinking partners’ – helping you do your best thinking and solution-finding!).


So you’d think I’d be in favour of creating more time, surely, to do all this necessary thinking? Well, not exactly…


4000 weeks is approximately how long you would have lived for if you reach the age of 80, which author of the book Oliver Burkeman points out is ‘absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short’! Right – that’s a bit of a slap around the face isn’t it?!


I can’t possibly do the full book justice (I do recommend a read, even if the subtitle hints at the more morbid undertones that occasionally feature ‘time management for mortals’), but there are some excellent takeaways which I’ll discuss just a few of below.


The book addresses our human tendency to be overly concerned with frenetic doing over being, and how our ‘busyness’ (in spite of more recent post-covid messages about looking after ourselves and our mental health I would add), is something of an emblem of prestige. One of the main premises of the book is actually a relief to read – accept that time is finite, you actually don’t know if you’ll have 4000 weeks or more or less time anyway, so don’t continually strive to expand it. Instead make meaningful choices with the time you do have (i.e. today!).


The concept of ‘getting it all done’ is a myth – there is always more to do. Think about that for a moment and what’s on your current ‘to do’ list – if you miraculously managed to tick off all the things on it (and I don’t suggest you try!), would you actually have ‘nothing to do’? No! We’d fill whatever time we had with more ‘stuff’, even if it’s not valuable stuff, perhaps even more likely not very valuable stuff!


Distractions are everywhere for humans, especially these days (mindless scrolling anyone?!) – my point being not to give you a hard time over it, but to acknowledge that if I can recognise this is how I might be spending my time, why would more of it be part of my solution? Along a similar vein is the concept that work expands to fill the time available for it – meaning if I allow myself all day to write this blog, that is how long it will take! Have you noticed that in something you have been working on?! Again, more time might not be the solution.


But I'm busy - I need more time!


I’m not for a moment brushing under the carpet how much we all have got on in our busy lives – and how it can often feel that time is short, or against us, or there’s not enough of it. Coupled with our other human tendency to set high (and possibly unrealistic) standards and expectations on ourselves and what exactly we can manage in the time available to us, you can see why we all might wish we had more time. But the reality is, we can’t expand time, nor is it racing when we have lots to do nor dragging when we have a boring task. It just is, whilst we can slightly obsess over it (me included!).


If you are interested in more on this topic of course, I recommend the full book, but equally if you want to discuss how this is directly impacting you, and how you really want to be spending your time, please do get in touch, I’d love to see if I can help - kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com.





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