It’s that time of year when our new year’s resolutions may start to falter (already!), or at least our enthusiasm for maintaining them may be starting to wilt a little.
Why is that? As you’d probably expect, a number of reasons can contribute to this, because of course we are all different and will have set different goals. But there is a common thread that I can speak about which is likely to make a lot of sense, I hope!
Forming new habits
Resolutions are essentially about forming a new habit, and that’s whether we make it specific or not.
We are likely to be introducing a brand new, or change in, behaviour (e.g. exercise or diet, etc). Ultimately, it means change, and, to put it bluntly, our brains don’t like change!
It’s why old habits are hard to break – we are used to doing them, our brains like shortcuts that it expects to happen, and so we continue. But it’s therefore also why new habits can be hard to truly embed – and for them to become a lasting change (and ultimately our new ‘norm’ that our brain adjusts to and accepts).
Maintaining habits through behaviour only is hard!
The thing with resolutions is that we implement them in January (just because it is a new year) and often, we are purely trying to push them through by our actions (behaviour) only – we’ve not really tackled our genuine thinking and perceptions behind this.
And so the enthusiasm wanes and often the resolution gets cast aside by Spring! It’s not to say that’s how it is for all resolutions and for everyone, but I bet that sounds familiar to many of us.
It’s also not to say that all new desired habits are doomed to fail – in fact far from it, if we go about it the right way and genuinely desire that change. So how do we do that?
Successfully making lasting change and embedding new habits
It’s not about forcing a new behaviour upon yourself (and therefore relying on your willpower alone to make it happen continually) that you think you ‘should’ do, for whatever reason. If your genuine heart (and head!) is not in it and fully behind it, your brain won’t be fooled into making this a priority for you – at least easily.
But even if it is something you genuinely know you want, it’s still not always easy is it? What else can help make lasting change?
Tips for creating lasting change
Here are a few ideas to help create change that will last, and no, I’m not going to reference ‘SMART’ goals at any point, hooray!
Positive motivation – have you framed your intention / goal positively? The association of what we will gain is more appealing to us than what we want to get rid of for example; think of it in the same vein as the carrot and the stick – the carrot is the more appealing option!
Visualising success – making our intention feel more real, what will it feel like, and look like to achieve it helps ground the intention into a new way of being and doing – we are thinking more about making it a reality and are therefore more likely to do so than it being an abstract far-off possibility. And this isn’t just relevant for the ‘final destination’ but along the way too.
Ownership – not only being fully bought into the intention, but also ensuring it is something that is within your ownership to be able to achieve. If there are variables outside of your control (which there may be), acknowledging that, not getting despondent if the progress is inhibited by that, and focusing on what you can do to keep the intention moving forward.
Attention density – ideally high frequency, low duration, and high quality. This is more rewarding, noticeable and manageable for us (on the whole).
Reminders - because the brain likes habit and is not inclined to remember! Honestly, it’s true, we think we will just remember, but it is highly possible we won’t.
Repeated application – sounds obvious, but nothing can become a new habit if it’s not regularly repeated – and neither are we likely to see the results or outcome we desire unless we are willing to repeat, adapting if necessary as we go, to achieve what we are looking for.
Reward - Change is pain for the brain and a reward that you value is the gain. It doesn’t have to wait until the end either, what can you reward yourself with for progress on the way?
I hope you find these tips helpful for bringing about lasting change.
No, it isn’t always going to be easy – and if you want some help with this, particularly around your thinking and beliefs around what you want to achieve and what you think is possible for yourself, please do get in touch – kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com, and we’ll see what we can do to help you!
Comments