I’ve been speaking to quite a few mums recently, both employed and small business owners, about how they are feeling this December. There was an overwhelming shared sentiment, so I thought I would write about it this week.
Does this December feel somehow different to you? Are you feeling a bit less festive and merry than you might hope to or expect to be?
I’ve heard a resounding ‘yes’ to both of these questions. And I considered why this might be, especially for this year, and I don’t think it’s just because it’s still early to mid-December.
I think there are a number of factors in the mix here, some of which may feel more relevant than others to each individual, things like:
· Trying to keep the magic of the festive season alive for our kids against a worrying economic backdrop and cost of living increase
· The volatility of being self-employed, or feeling vulnerable in employment
· The extra things to remember and prepare for this month, e.g. family staying, school events, gifts to choose and buy
· The cumulative effect of the last 3 years and the impact this has had in different ways and to different degrees on all of us
I am sure there are more, but just these add up to a pretty potent mix! I also think that the final point about the cumulative effect of the last 3 years is summed up so brilliantly in this LinkedIn post
I’m not writing this to sound all doom and gloom! I want to say that it is OK to not be feeling all the festive joy, yet or at all, and to say you aren’t alone. As I said in my Facebook group the other day, please do December / Christmas your way, whether that looks different to previous years, or has tinsel everywhere, or not.
We don’t all have to have insta-perfect trees (I am sat next to a tree that is in its 17th year of fake-needle-dropping tattiness and whose box is more tape than box left now. It’s covered in a mish mash of homemade decorations and random tut but it’s like family now so is here to stay!)
Said tatty tree pictured here, complete with wonky star on its 17-year old twig stem!
There isn’t a universal ‘standard’ for what Christmas should look like and consist of, despite what we may see on social media. I for one am looking forward to the odd day with no plans at all, just the 3 of us.
If possible, some rest and recuperation over the festive period I think will be so important – because what comes next? Goals for 2023! Start the new year off on the right foot! New year’s resolutions! It’s not that I’m against any of those things, far from it, it’s just trying to plough into these things when you’re running on fumes... not a good idea!
We can’t solve /fix / address it all, as I’ve written about before regarding the spheres of control. So please don't put yourself under unreasonable pressure and attempt to do so!
What we can do is recognise the small steps and actions that we are solely responsible for and that we can take in each area to make this December feel that bit better than it might be feeling right now. And if we do this, and lighten our own expectations of what we ‘should’ be doing / feeling / having at this time of year, we might just find that the December load becomes lighter and more manageable.
If you'd like to talk more about this, please do get in touch, I'd love to see if I can help kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com
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