what does gratitude mean?
Gratitude is a ‘recognition of value independent of monetary worth’ according to ‘Psychology Today’. And I thought now nice it would be, in the current economic climate, NOT to be talking about money for a moment! It also feels like a topic that everyone can have a chance to tune into and see if there is any benefit for them.
As a coach, I am very mindful of the impact our thinking has on our day, our mood, and our actions and behaviours. Therefore, if our thinking is primed in some way to be positive (for example through a gratitude exercise), we are likely to feel the impact of this in our day, also positively (hopefully!).
So can there really be power in just being thankful?
How to practise gratitude
Practising gratitude (in other words reminding yourself of what you are grateful for and why) in addition to the spontaneous moments of gratitude you may experience, focuses the brain on happiness, positivity and warmth. This makes sense - if you are thinking about something you feel grateful for, you are unlikely to be feeling or experiencing negative emotions, like resentment or fear. And, taking that a step further, if we know the brain is a creature of habit (it is!), then reinforcing a habit that creates feelings of warmth, happiness and positivity can allow us to become accustomed to that as a new ‘norm’ for our brains to experience (see my earlier blog on limiting beliefs for more on brain habits). Indeed, positive psychology defines gratitude as more than a feeling of thankfulness, it is a deeper appreciation that can produce longer lasting positivity. And who doesn’t want longer lasting positivity?!
I gave a simple focus exercise in gratitude a try this week, just for a few minutes. The thing that popped in my head to be grateful for was ‘my home’ so I went with it. Being self-employed I am in my home a lot of the time, and our move here in the latter part of 2020 wasn’t easy and nearly wasn’t this house. So, it probably isn’t a surprise that my home came to mind. What did I experience / focus on in those few moments? Firstly, I really am grateful that we live in our home. It’s a bungalow – and I never thought I’d be saying that! Just goes to show, the place that ends up right for you might not be what you at first expected or thought you wanted. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. It has quirks and foibles, some improvements are definitely needed, a couple of things are a bit random and annoying... you can see where this is going, it’s a lot like most people! But it’s also our sanctuary; we love our garden, where we live, and the overall sense of peace and calm.
What I experienced from the exercise was a sense of calm, feeling grounded and receptive in a positive way. I couldn’t say for sure how long that feeling lasted as I then went on with my day. Perhaps it was too great an expectation for it to overwhelmingly flood my day with positivity, perhaps it was partly because it was my first conscious exercise in gratitude, perhaps it also has something to do with the focus being on a something, rather than a someone. But I can recommend giving it a try, and I’ll be doing it again for sure.
If you are feeling an overriding sense of a negative feeling – such as fear, or overwhelm, giving your brain the opportunity to focus on something positive gives you a chance to tune into a different emotion. It’s a chance to hit the reset button by choosing a different focus for a moment. I believe it can also help us tune back into the things that really matter too when the frustrations of our day are hopefully more temporary and irritating setbacks.
Give it a try – I’d love to know what happens for you!
As a coach, I'm aware that whilst there absolutely is a gain to be had from such activities like this, for many, bespoke and direct support is also really helpful and meaningful. If you'd like to discuss this, please do get in touch, I have a complimentary clarity session that you're welcome to try!
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