A sense of overwhelm has felt very relevant just recently from conversations with my clients and friends, and I must admit to experiencing it myself too. Why might that be?
why we experience overwhelm
I think it is undeniable that for many of us, times are pretty tough at the moment. Even though we don't hear Covid mentioned as much now as we have been accustomed to over the last 2 years, now in June 2022, we are hearing 'cost of living crisis' as its unwelcome replacement. And it is true: energy, food, travel... everything does seem to be costing us more. Many of us are thinking about budgets, income, expenditure, what seems like a luxury and can be forsaken ... and so on.
As a self-employed small business owner, like so many of us are, I'm very aware of the volatility of my current situation. And for those in employment, maybe not enjoying their roles or seeking out overtime to boost their income, it may not feel like a particularly good time to seek out something new. All this = perfect climate for overwhelm to brew.
Just recently I had a day which would appear like an ideal one – a blank canvas. An empty day to pass as I pleased. But of course that wasn’t the reality. There were all the usual things to fit in, and as I was flying solo, all the parenting responsibilities came to me. And ironically, the expanse of an empty day can itself be overwhelming – how can I capitalise on this? I must fit in as much as possible! What are all the things I have to do... leading to panic, procrastination and doing none of the things! Yet on a day where I’ve just got an hour’s gap, I just get on with something that needs to be done. Does that sound familiar to you too?
Can you prevent overwhelm?
I decided to see how I would respond to my feelings of overwhelm for the day, could I keep them at bay and what was useful. Here is what I found:
- I asked for help. Something was on my mind (I’m currently doing a course), and I didn’t know the answer on my own. So I reached out to my course community and got some really helpful advice. Asking for help doesn't mean you are relinquishing responsibility or that you expect others to fix everything for you (because neither of those can happen anyway). But it can help prevent overwhelm from indecision growing.
- I took a few moments out to remind myself of what I am grateful for and to just meditate for only 5 minutes. Taking a few deep breaths and focusing on what you do have in your life and the things that are positive, rather than what you don't have or that is negative is a great way to detract from overwhelm. Sitting with those positive reflections can help create positive emotions that remove the space for the overwhelm and negativity that might be occupying your mind. Changing the scenery for a moment also helped, as otherwise I can sit at my computer for ages. I was able to refocus really quickly when I returned to it, which surprised me.
- I accepted progress over perfection. This one is getting easier! Putting pressure on yourself to get everything perfect is a surefire recipe for overwhelm, not least because getting something done takes forever meaning the other things just roll on to tomorrow's growing to do list, argh!!
- I made sure I had a break! Sitting in overwhelm rarely gets you anywhere other than feeling more overwhelmed. Try stepping away, doing something for you to clear your mind and then let yourself focus on the next step you can take that is the biggest priority. You are just one person, with the same amount of time each day and there will always be more to do. I had a phone call with my best friend, and it was a much-needed restorative boost!
- You can't control it all... so don't try to. Phew! The tighter we try to have control over things around us, the more overwhelm we can experience as we just can't manage it. There is often far more beyond your control than you may be trying to exert control over. Focusing on what really is within your control, staying in your lane and working on the things you really want can help reduce the noise, distraction around you and therefore feelings of overwhelm too. I turned off my social media notifications for a while and focused on writing. Being able to tick off that large task was so satisfying, and definitely eased any sense of overwhelm that was looming.
Is overwhelm affecting you at the moment? If you’d like to talk with someone impartial, in a safe judgement-free space, please do get in touch: kathryn@kbmindfulcoaching.com
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