You might be thinking 'if that's discomfort island then check me in!'. And that's kind of the point, it isn't always a bad place to be. But it can live up to its name and then you may want to revisit your checkout date!
Comfort zone v discomfort island
What on earth am I talking about?! We’ve all heard of the term ‘comfort zone’, and probably all have our own positive (‘I know what I’m doing and it’s familiar’) and negative (‘it’s boring and I’m not feeling fulfilled’) connotations about what a comfort zone can mean to us.
I like to refer to discomfort island – because whether we like it or not, find it safe or boring, we are very unlikely to always stay within our comfort zone. We will experience what discomfort island has to offer as well! I think the most important word in the title of this blog, is actually the word ‘staying’, and not ‘discomfort’ as you may at first think, and I’ll explain why.
Dealing with discomfort
Amongst other things, factors beyond our control will inevitably give rise to feelings of discomfort in our lives. These are often noticeable and immediately apparent to us. For example, consider the scenario of being very comfortable in your role, and you have a great relationship with your boss. Then your boss leaves your organisation (a factor beyond your control), and your new manager seems to have a very different agenda and management style that doesn’t sit comfortably with you. You’re now on discomfort island, probably looking for a way to make it feel comfortable again (‘shall I talk to the new boss about how I feel and see if we can find a way forwards?’) or considering looking for a new role (literally leaving discomfort island!). We are all at some point in our lives experiencing scenarios not dissimilar to the example above, and not giving it much thought, as we seek to feel comfortable again.
We also inevitably experience some feelings of discomfort as we try to acquire new skills (see my first blog on confidence and learning to drive for example!). The point here though is that the discomfort is temporary and is a means to achieving a positive result for ourselves, where again we feel more comfortable with our acquired skill, new job, etc. We need courageous action and an element of accepting we don’t know exactly how something will pan out to ultimately grow as a person and live fulfilling lives - otherwise consider that you would never apply for a new role or a promotion, have children, move house ... the list is endless! The temporary discomfort is part of that growing process, and is often not quite as painful as we think it might be.
What I believe to be hazardous about discomfort island is when we have landed on it... and ended up staying there. We might even have been there for a while without realising! This is most likely to occur when an accumulation of smaller subtler shifts have occurred, resulting in a sneaky incremental feeling of discomfort which is more difficult to detect. So I encourage you to consider what your relationship is like between your comfort zone and discomfort island. Some of us are regular and willing visitors to discomfort island, and are probably at ease feeling temporary discomfort. Whereas some of us may like to visit as briefly as possible before returning to comfort. And there’s nothing wrong with either of those. We all visit discomfort island from time to time depending on our circumstances, external influences, our personal appetite for taking risks and many other factors, and it is probably healthy that we do so. But I would look out for the possibility that you may be staying there for a long time without giving it much thought. Consider what is actually making you feel uncomfortable and what you may be able to do about it now that your feelings of prolonged discomfort have come to light.
If you’d like to have a conversation about discomfort island, please do get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.
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